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FUNNY

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!

Do you want to see something swell?

Do you work for UPS / ParcelForce? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

Have I seen you before? Oh, yeah, I remember - it was in the dictionary under the word FANBLEEDINGTASTIC!

Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.

Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

I have 4 words for you "Hol I Day Inn".

If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?

If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.

Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.

Screw me if I'm wrong, but I could swear you were Julia Roberts.

The word of the day is "legs." Let's say we head back to your place and spread the word.

You've been a bad, bad girl (boy). Now go to my room!

Your Daddy must play the trumpet, cos he sure made me horny!

Best To Use

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

I'm good at math, U+I=69

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.

Please help the homeless. Take me home with you...

Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.

What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?

Will you be my Xmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.

Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?

You are a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

You're good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a perfect square?

Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you got the nicest set of buns I've ever saw.

Corny

Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?

Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day.

Got two nipples for a dime?

Help, somethings wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!

Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?

I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!

You're eyes are bluer than the atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea.

You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

Good

Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

I bet you $40 you're gonna turn me down.

I know that Milk does the body good, but wow, how much you been drinking?

I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

I'm betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.

Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it still pretty darn good.

When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: if you treat me right I'll do it your way

You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

You know the Power company is looking for you coz you're so electrifying.

You know, I ain't this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet.

You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I just can't stop ya.

Sweet

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

Of course there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch and mount back at my place.

Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

How was Heaven when you left it?

You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

Honey, you give new meaning to the defintion of 'edible'.

I think I can die happy now, coz I've just seen a piece of heaven.

You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.

You should be someone's wife.

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

You've made me so nervous that I've totally forgotten forgotten my standard pick-up line.

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

Is your name Gillette? ...coz you're the best a man can get.

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

Bad

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

Grab yer bag Doll...you've just pulled...

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.

If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.

There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!

You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast.

Other

Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour coordinated.

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that cake you just ate.

I wonder what our children will look like.

I'm wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick. Wanna help me test the claim it won't kiss off?

If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town.

If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".

It must be cold in here - or are you just happy to see me?

Since sex is a killer, would ya like to die happy?

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

There gotta be a keg in your pants, coz I wanna tap that ass.

There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.

Was your Father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

You're so hot, your ass is on fire.